I got this today from my childhood friend Sharon. We grew up together ON Long Island and shared many an adventure during our teenage years... Every thing said in this little ditty is true, and I know I could add a few new ones myself. I always have said everywhere I have lived, Long Island is the best place to grow up and the worst place to live. Getting on of off the Island is like putting on a tight pair of jeans, they're hard to get into, and even harder to get out of....
One disclaimer... I have seen this before, it has been circulating amongst we Long Islanders for a few years....
Enjoy!
Good ones:
You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there.
When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't.
You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
You don't go to Manhattan; you go to "The City".
At some point in your life you've gone clamming.
Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.
You don't live in Long Island. You live ON Long Island
You know where the Commack Motor Inn is.
You can correctly pronounce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip, Islandia, Massapequa.
You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.
You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica..."
You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
You've had a seagull crap on your car.
You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville.
You went to an elementary school that promoted dodge ball as the number 1 game among children 7-13.
You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 out of Penn and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.
You or someone you know has owned an animal that came from North Shore Animal League.
The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.
You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
You know which parts of the Godfather were filmed on Long Island.
You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for it.
You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up.
Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore". (I am a cool girl from the South Shore)
You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you got smashed at the Bordy barn.
When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long Guy Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.
You've always liked Billy Joel and you own several of his "records"
The Belt Parkway sucks!
Your parents took you to Nathans or Carvel (on the way home from the beach.( It was the Roadside Rest when we went) (Marvel for me)
You remember Grumman
You know the color of the water at Jones Beach was not BLUE!
You knew of Massapequa before the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco nightmare
You thought going to Queens was a hike
The first time you heard the term "Long Island Iced Tea" you were somewhere else and you laughed.
When you live somewhere else and are astounded to see that people actually stop at yellow lights.
You just sort of presume that wherever you live, you'll be able to find good delis, good pizza, and good bagels.
You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.
When you walk in the city and you see two men holding hands...it becomes normal to you.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Long Island.
Mediocre ones:
You never realize you have an accent till you leave.
You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks but you periodically "Get the Crave".
You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.
Quick! Who's the Suffolk County Executive? Don't know do you?!
You've never taken an MTA bus.
Regular gas - $3.39 and you still pay it!!!
You've gotten drunk on the bleachers of some high school
You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's.
You can spout off all the LIRR stops between Penn Station and Ronkonkoma
Paying $35 for a haircut doesn't sound so crazy.
You think the people from Brooklyn are "da wunz dat tawk wit a accent"
Sledding in the sumps
No word ends in an ER, just an AH.
You'd pay $8.50 for a movie.
Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.
No, you don't want mustard on that burger!!
You hate paying tolls.
You don't have to go far to see your family.
You miss wiffle Ball and running through sprinklers.
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